We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
