Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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