evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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