Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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