we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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