Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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