your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
there is puke in my bra ... again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
