oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
