You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
