can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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