Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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