He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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