This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
