and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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