i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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