My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
