He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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