Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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