gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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