office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
