its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
