I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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