I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
