I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
