I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
