she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
