I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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