Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
