just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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