i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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