Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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