I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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