I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
