Joe is yelling at the trees again.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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