and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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