Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
