This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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