i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Text me some of your sweat
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