My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
