I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
