we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize