At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
