Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
