just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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