just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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