Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
