just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
