Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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