i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
