we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
