my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
