I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So many bounce houses so little time
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
