I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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