i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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