I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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