Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
