ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
