she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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